Overcoming Grief: A List of Don'ts

C. Earl Gibbs writes in his book titled Caring for the Grieving:

     Many variations of attitudes and forms of ministry can be categorized under this heading 

     (overcoming grief). 

      The element which they have in common is the desire to do away with grief by overcoming it  

     too quickly. Words of comfort are given too easily, emotions are suppressed and attempts are made to

     make death and grief as inconspicuous as possible.

     Often the elements of denial, which were discussed earlier are incorporated into this model in which a   

     person seeks to over come the reality of grief by denying the full process of the grief.  Euphemisms,

     attitudes, facial expressions, superficial approaches, and meaningless phrases all are used in an effort to

     soothe the mourners.

     Because so many people misunderstand the nature of grief and try to cover it up,  Edgar Jackson offered 

     a list of things to avoid in one of his little books (You and Your Grief) designed to be a guide for the

    bereaved.  

1. Don't condemn yourself.
2. Don't drug yourself.
3. Don't feel sorry for yourself.
4. Don't run away.
5. Don't withdraw yourself.
6. Don't pay too much attention to what others say.
7. Don't cross bridges until you come to them.
8. Above all, don't underestimate yourself.

Over the next few posts, we will explore some of these don'ts  in more detail.