In addition to that we have our own lives with our own fears. Is my job safe? Will my salary sustain me and my family? What about my future? Are we safe in our home? Then we have the ever present reality that sickness or even death might affect our family and friends with profound changes and the grief and loss which that brings.
Breathe. Calm yourself.
The reality is if we fill ourselves up with "what ifs..." it is all too easy to work ourselves up into a panic mode.
So, take another deep breath and ....
Lead with love and not fear.
With everything that is going on in the world, it is important to follow through on our responsibilities-to ourselves, our family, our work. But aside from that, most things are out of our control. If we lose our perspective, we can become fear based, we become tight and scared and try to control the people and situations around us. If we lead with love-both to give love and to allow ourselves to receive love from others, even in small and subtle ways-we trust that all will work out OK, regardless of the outcome.
We have the opportunity to choose to lead with love everyday.
Believe in abundance, not scarcity. We need to focus on what we do have, not on what we don't have. To have a spirit of gratitude for what is, instead of the way we wish it was. Often the abundance is in the things money can't buy-love, family, friends, work, health.
Cherish the moment and the people in it.
When we are with our loved ones who are dying or with our family in grief, we are fortunate to be with them at these sacred times when what is most important is treating them with respect and dignity. All that matters is loving and being loved.
In our world we see so much loss, yet what is most enduring? What do you remember most when someone you love dies? What do you remember most when someone has been kind to you? What is the legacy you want to leave?
In caring for others, we have the privilege to learn wisdom-to learn what to say to each other when not many words are necessary. We are reminded by Dr. Ira Byock in his book, The Four Things That Matter Most, the most important words are:
- Please forgive me
- I forgive you
- Thank you
- I love you
Adapted from an essay by Jane Dubois, MS, MDiv., Vice President, Bereavement and Spiritual Care at Beacon Hospice.
