Rachel Naomi in her book Kitchen Table Wisdom, states The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering  and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet. This sort of denial is no small matter. The way we deal with loss shapes our capacity to be present to life more than anything else. The way we protect ourselves from loss may be the way in which we distance ourselves from life.
     You may be thinking " Suffering and loss? Aside from this death or that disappointment, I haven't experienced any suffering or loss".  Do you read the newspaper or watch the news?  Tragic stories are all around us.  Are you aging?  Are your loved ones aging? Battling disease, depression, financial difficulties? Change is loss. There is a cumulative effect to what we witness and experience when it comes to grief. What we do with that accumulation of feelings and thoughts is what will make or break us and our capacity to be who we innately are and can potentially be in this world.
     When you are grieving a loss, others, usually well meaning, are often eager to share their opinion about your level of denial.  Perhaps you have heard from some that you are "in denial" because you "have not moved on  (or moved on too quickly)". Or, maybe someone has suggested you are in denial because you are tearful (or not tearful enough).  I wonder what these well-intentioned folks would say if you suggested it is perhaps they who are denial?   Perhaps your grief and your awareness of  loss and suffering is too much for them to bear?  
     Ultimately, it is important for each person to judge their own circumstance.

     Are you present to life or distanced from death?  It is never too late to change.