Several years ago when my nephew was maybe 6 years old, the family dog died. The adults milled around swollen eyed and stiff upper lipped, but certainly not actually talking about what we were feeling. Caleb got us organized with candles and tissues and into a circle and directed us "You all have to say at least one good memory of Oatie". A natural facilitator of ceremony and ritual and remembrance.
Last week, one of the widows I see for grief support showed me two letters her 6 year old grandson had written. One was to his grandfather who at the time of the writing was dying in a hospice house. In it the child told his grandfather that he had enjoyed a good life and they had had a good life together. He told him everyone loved him and that he could go when he was ready. The second letter was to his grandmother after the death. It was a drawing of a person in a box and it said "Grandpa still loves you".
Perhaps, we could practice approaching loss more as children do (as we once did as children as well)....intuitively, naturally, and communally-inviting everyone in to share and move forward.
