A friend of mine who had recently lost someone close to her called asking "Is it normal to feel like I am going to freak out and be all panicy, or am I losing my mind?" She went on to describe feeling as though she was having tiny panic attacks (shortness of breath, tingling, dizzy, sweating and feeling trapped) when driving alone in her car. She found focusing on music helped, but often felt as though she just wanted to run screaming from the vehicle.
Perhaps anxiety attack may better descibe this symptom of grief. Either way, it is an unpleasant and frightening event, athough a common experience for those who have incurred a significant life trauma. The death of a loved one would qualify. Often, there are extenuating circumstances related to the death as well... a long illness, a sudden or violent death, protracted pain and suffering, issues related to decisions regarding medical care and so on.
When you are bereft, your breath is more shallow...you may find yourself sighing more. This is your body's attempt at getting more oxygen. If your body doesn't get the air that it craves, you may start to hyperventilate a precurser to an anxiety attack. Focusing on your breath is a technique for managing panic/anxiety attacks. Breathe deeply and slowly, coach yourself that you already know how to breathe easily. Practice using imagery that is calming such as being held in a magical garment that helps you to feel calm, safe, and protected. Remind yourself that this is "normal after a loss" and that you have survived this before. Find an anchor-something that grounds you...my friend had the radio, but anything can do...your ring, a St. Christopher's medal, the sunshine...
Find someone to talk to about your loss and your experience-a friend, grief group, counselor. Make an appointment with your physician to rule out other potential causes as sometimes it is easy to minimize symptoms and chalk it up to "grief", but all symptoms are there to tell us something. So check in and listen to what your body/mind has to say.
