When someone has lost someone close to them...

we often don't know what to say to comfort them.  We feel awkward, helpless. Our own issues of loss may be stirred up. We don't want to "upset them".

American Cancer Society  offers some suggestions to start a conversation:

• Acknowledge the situation.  Example: "I heard that your________died."  Use the word "died".  That will show that you are more open to talk about how the person really feels.
• Express your concern.  Example:  "I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you."
• Be genuine in your communication and don't hide your feelings.  Example: "I'm not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care."
• Offer your support: Example: "Tell me what I can do for you." Or tell them what you can do. Example: " I'm making some chili this week. I will bring some over to you."
• Ask how he or she feels, and don't assume you know how the bereaved person feels on any given day.