Why not?
Grieving people often spend a lot of emotional and mental energy laying down reasons not to seek support for themselves; I'm just feeling sorry for myself, no one wants to listen to me complain, it's not going to change anything anyway, I just have to suck it up and get on with my life, other people have it worse than me, I should be able to handle this, it's private...
Bereavement support, also known as grief support can take many different shapes. There is the traditional support group, telephone support, on line support, family and friends support, writing and bibliotherapy, art, pharmaceuticals, spiritual support...the list is as individual as the griever seeking the support. (That would be over 6 billion permutations because we all will grieve loss in our lifetime.)
Seeking support is brave and courageous. Traditionally, Anglo culture seems to labor under the belief that emoting and expressing feelings is the only activity of value when it comes to loss. But how many of us feel comfortable crying, yelling, "falling apart" in front of others, let alone with ourselves? The idea of voluntarily sitting with a group of strangers, exposing our soft flank, and maybe even more frightening, witnessing others pain seems ridiculous.
However, there are many benefits to attending a group. Hearing other people talk about their loss and how they are managing can be helpful in finding ways to cope or just to feel "normal" regarding grief. Learning about community resources, understanding how we grieve, and telling our story can all be very healing. Doing these things with people other than ones family can also be liberating as there is no need to worry about "being a burden "or worrying others.
Research has shown that most people process their grief intra-psychically (internally, in your own mind) and then process it inter-psychically (with others). Often these others are people that know the griever or the deceased very well. The point being, grief will find an outside expression. We need to learn to value
and support people in finding what works for them.
Please consider calling you local hospice to inquire about grief support available in your community. (See the link for Beacon Hospice in the sidebar for more info.)
